My Life (off of) The Sunset Strip...

EXT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

So I'm in Toluca Lake, burning off a soon to be expiring Groupon, for an acupuncture session.

I'm freshly showered, smooth with lotion, but not naked. I'm wearing my favorite, red, tighty whities...and a smock/gown get up with an untied open back.

I'm laying, face up, on the acupuncture table.

The Doctor, 50's (Hollywood 50's), friendly, brunette, groovy (of course she's groovy it's Eastern medicine), enters the room. She explains her process as she looks down at me with her chestnut colored locks dangling down towards me.

Bach is playing in the background at a very low volume (I only knew it was Bach because she told me).

SHE: How are you doing? Are you nervous?

ME: No, I'm okay. I think I can handle it. I'm just going to relax and enjoy the ride.

SHE: Good. Show me your tongue.

Inside, I'm giggling. Why? No good reason. I just giggle a lot. Inside.

I stick out my tongue. Not like poking it at her, just a normal, like, ahhh (without the "ahhh" sound).

Here's where it got really funny...at least for me.

SHE: We can do a lot with that tongue.

Now, I'm sure the following moment only took 1-2 seconds, but in my mind it took minutes. Several minutes.

Remember, I'm laying on my back, not naked (but "naked adjacent") looking up, and she's standing over me, looking down...Hollywood 50's, with those chestnut locks blowing in the wind like in an Aerosmith video...AND she has just said to me "We can do a lot with that tongue".

I DID NOT remember auditioning for this role at all.

ME: ahhh...

SHE: Yeah, I can see you have trouble sleeping and we can work on your diet if you decide to come back for more of my work.

At that point I was thinking I should REALLY come back for "more work" or REALLY not come back...for more work.

ME: Okay, great.

SHE: I put the first needle in. Did you feel it?

ME: Nope, didn't feel a thing.

=========

When I got back in my car I looked at my tongue. I didn't see any mold, moss or algae on it, but I didn't go to college either...I'm on the really low-end of smart. Who knows though, it's 4:11am and I'm still wide awake, maybe I'm phuk'd.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Today I met the young child that I’m on track to be a mentor to and his foster mother.  I was quite nervous, but things worked out pretty well I think.

We are supposed to see The Lego movie next week along with the social worker who put us all together. 

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Yes!  A commercial audition!  It’s been a little slow lately, so this appointment was quite welcome.

Not so fast.  Huh? 

My agency called an hour later to inform me that, although I had been specifically requested by the casting director/office – Spot Casting, I had been cancelled by my agency. 

Why?

Well, the audition is for AT&T and I have a VERIZON conflict.  Honestly, I forgot because it isn’t airing currently, but I am still “being held” through next week March 12th.

Oh well.  Not much I can do about that and, honestly, I look at it as success.  It’s great to know that my talent is marketable and that that particular casting office hasn’t forgotten about me – I haven’t auditioned there since August 2012. 

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Well, it looks like this particular ride has ended.  Yup, I got the call this morning that I had been released from my “FedEx” avail.  Oh well, I’ll try my best again to get ‘em next time. 

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Callback: “FedEx” @ Kathy Knowles Casting.  I arrived about 30 minutes early for this one and I’m glad I did since the dialogue had changed from the initial audition. 

When they handed me the size card to make sure my sizes and contact information was correct they had written on it “has FedEx”.  I asked the assistant if “has FedEx” is the same as “had FedEx”? They were referring to the fact that I did a FedEx commercial back in December 2012 but that spot has been finished for a while. I didn’t want them to think that I had one currently airing. 

By the time I went in I was ready to rock & roll with the new dialogue.  Things went great in the room!  Yes!

Hours later I received word from my agency that I had been placed on avail.  Yes!  YES!

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “FedEx” @ Kathy Knowles Casting.  Great time in the room!  I think I understood and executed what the spot was about.  Hopefully I’ll advance to the next step in the process. 

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Yesterday I got finger-printed and a Tuberculosis skin test in preparation for becoming a mentor to the 5 year-old I’d mentioned recently.  Tonight I attended an adoption class.  I’m not “planning” to adopt anyone, but I guess one never really knows where the future will take them.  I guess that means I’m going to do it.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

My Life (just off) The Sunset Strip…

Episode 0102 - He Touched My Rocket

INT. LOBBY/ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Stephon, arriving home after attending a health care seminar in Burbank enters the lobby of his building. In his hands was a small amount trash to toss in the can by the cluster mailbox. He noticed someone was standing at the elevator, but didn’t pay too much attention. He didn’t want to drop his cell phone or keys. When he turned back to wait for the elevator he saw that it was his nemesis...SheHeHerHim aka "SHHH", not thin, about 6’1” 250lbs, manly feet with shoulders the width of a Fiat 500.

ME: Hey.

SHHH: (Stare)

The elevator doors open, we enter. SHHH slivers around like an anaconda…then presses “1”. Me, looking straight ahead then realizes.

ME: Oh, “3”, thanks.

The “3” button is kinda messed up and always has to be pressed several times. I noticed his dirty ass finger nails working the button trying to get it to light up. It finally does.

SHHH: Come 143. 143. (Yes, in that same, breathy, Marilyn Monroe “Mr. President” style of voice).

ME: No, I’m good.

The elevator starts to move. He faces the door, stands in front of me, bends over and BACKS THE FK UP!!!

I gently push him away.

ME: Hey, I’m good.

The doors open on the first floor. SHHH doesn’t get out, he stares at me.

I look at the floor and see the biggest, nastiest hammered toed feet I’ve ever seen.

The doors close. He starts his seductive dance again. In disbelief I start to laugh…I cannot believe this is happening…until he reached and touched my rocket! Yeah, my freaking rocket!!!

ME: Yo, I’m good. I’m good.

SHHH: Come 143, I like. Come 143.

I’m holding my hands out signaling for him to not come any closer.

The doors open on the 3rd floor. My floor. I don’t get out. I don't want him on my floor.

The doors close. He behaves as the elevator car moves back down to the first floor.

The doors open.

SHHH: Please 143. Okay? okay? 143.

ME: I’ll be alright. I’m good.

Before exiting he takes another last swipe at my rocket, (which, like a Blacky Jackie Chan I block) and left me with his best “come hither” look.

SHHH: Come 143 okay?

The doors close and the elevator rises back up to the 3rd floor and I exit. I expected to see him down in the courtyard when I got off upstairs, but he was nowhere to be found. He was probably tidying up his place in anticipation of my arrival.

=======

Dude should learn to keep his hands to himself. He could end up getting punched in the nose, It’d be easier if he’d just take the stairs…I pay too much rent in this building to take the stairs.

Upon further thought. I wonder if this whole thing is a case of "Lost in Translation". Maybe he thinks me saying, repeatedly, "I'm good, I'm good" is me bragging about about my sexual prowess?????

Next time I'll say, "I'm good at punching mofos in dey muhfking moufs". I mean, that is a big lie, but I'll just put my mean face on when I say it...and ball up my fist. Dude betta ask somebody...

Holla!

http://www.stephonfuller.com

I had an early morning dentist appointment.  Ugh!  Not good news, there is a crown that I finally have to get taken care of.  Plus, some of the major dental work I had done going on two years ago has developed a little problem.  I knew about it a year ago and have been putting it off, but I need to finally get it fixed.  Fortunately, I won’t be charged for the work.  I already paid!

Audition: “The Miller’s” @ Dava Waite Peaslee Casting.  When I arrived at this audition there had been another one line character written in at the last minute.  I felt that it went really well in the room.  I certainly made them laugh.  I feel really great about booking one of the roles.  C’mon Stephon!

Audition: “Toyota” @ Francene Selkirk Casting.  I did good again!

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Maxwell House” @ Francene Selkirk Casting.  Eh, this was okay.  There was a lot going in the spot and I felt as though I was barely keeping up.  Funny spot though!

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Chasing Life” @ Greenstein/Daniel Casting.  Another great time, another actual scene.  It’s great to have something to work with.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Hart of Dixie” @ Martinez-Nelson/Berger Casting.  This was so much fun!  It was an actual scene!  A few scenes, in fact.  I had a great time in the room.

My Life (just off) of the Sunset Strip...

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING LOBBY - EVENING

As I come in from the parking garage, into the lobby of my building, I see a woman entering from the front door into the lobby. I say "hello" as we meet at the elevator.

Not to complicate things, but this was not your "run-of-the-mill" woman. Ya know the type, the ones that have babies, smell like roses, with mesmerizing lips and…produce milk at certain times of the year. This woman was not that at all.

“She” was a very large man, carrying a very small dog - a hot dog dog.

A moment later the elevator arrived and the “4" of us entered. I say “4” because I just wasn’t sure how to categorize…the person. So it was me, the woman who looked like a man, the man who looked like a woman… and the hot dog dog.

The elevator arrived and since the ManWomanWomanMan had their hands full I asked “what floor are you going to?” “They”, SheHeHerHim answered “Wwhone” in their best “Marilyn Monroe”…I understood it as “the 1st floor”. I pressed “1” for them and “3” for me.

The doors closed. It seemed like it took at least 45 seconds for the elevator to move so I attempted some small talk to pass the time.

“How are you this evening?” I asked. SheHeHerHim didn’t really “answer”, SheHeHerHim just kinda exhaled at me…again, kinda like, I would have guessed, Marilyn Monroe would have done it - but way less sexy.

All this was happening really slow.

Finally the elevator door closed and we started moving. SheHeHerHim never looked away from me. I just silently stared at my W-2 in my hand to pass the time. What seemed like 90 minutes later we arrived at the first floor.

The doors opened. SheHe…just stood there. I was frozen, and then finally, I looked up as HeShe, still staring at me, slowly started to exit while doing this weird tongue movement and then winked. I threw back an odd acknowledgement and looked down at my maroon, low-cut Chuck Taylor’s.

The elevator door finally closed. I exhaled. Not like Marilyn Monroe. Like Stephon…when he’s freaked the fk out.

The doors opened on the 3rd floor. HimHerSheHe was standing in the courtyard, looking up at me, waving for me to come down. Normally, I exit the elevator with a slight left, a right and another left on my way to my apt. Instead, I made a slight left, ANOTHER LEFT and then a right and I was out of view…I learned that from watching movies!

I entered my apartment and went straight to the mirror outside of my kitchen. I wanted to see exactly who SheHe was seeing. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the attraction was all about.

I guess I'll just chalked it up as a stroke to my ego

Now, I have NEVER a day in my life been a "chick magnet”, but after that experience, I’m convinced, that I might be a "dk magnet"...

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Extant” @ Ronna Kress Casting.  I used to book these 1 and 2 line roles all day long.  Well, not “all day long”, but I used to book them.  Now, they are so difficult for me and I’m not sure why.  Yes, I really want to book more significant roles than these, but I wanna book these too.  It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve book a TV/Film job and I didn’t even audition for that one.

Anyway, I’d LOVE to book this role.  It’s Halle Barry’s pilot, already on-air for 13 episodes, Steven Spielberg produce and the role is supposed to recur.  C’mon Stephon!

http://www.stephonfuller.com

So I went to a Super Bowl party this afternoon. Didn't want to show up empty-handed so I brought a 12-pack of Blue Moon...and an A&W cream soda for myself.

Several more people showed up and we ran out of chairs. I helped bring a few more in from the guesthouse. I sat for a for a few minutes and a few more people arrived. I gave my chair to a young girl, so I was standing watching the game.

After a while a woman, that had been sitting, came and stood next to me. A moment later she introduced herself. We made some small talk and she asked if I had any children.

ME: No.

HER: Have you ever considered mentoring a child?

ME: Ah, ah, ah...Mentoring? Yeah, sometimes I read scripts, as an actor, that at-risk students have written in the area high schools.

HER: How would you feel about possibly mentoring a 5 year-old 1 or 2 times a month?

ME: Um, a 5 year-old?"

HER: As soon as you walked in knew I wanted to ask you.

ME: What was it about me? My sneakers?

HER: No. Just the way you carried yourself.

As my head was spinning, wondering what the heck had just happened she explained that she's a social worker and one of her clients could use some specific help and she thought I might fit the bill.

She gave me her card and asked me to consider it.

=======

A 5 year-old??? That means a car seat in my car right?

=======

This could be my opportunity to make my biggest impact in the world to date...

http://www.stephonfuller.com

My last audition was more than a month ago.  My last shift at my overnight job was more than 2 months ago.

I'm single.

Just trying to figure out why I still take showers...

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “10.0: The Big One” @ Arlie Day Casting.  I felt good about this one; I fumbled a line I think, but I stayed in character and focused on what the character wanted in the scene.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Toyota” @ Francene Selkirk Casting.  Wow, I was beginning to think that my commercial career was over!

Why?

Because this was my first audition since December 5^th…an eternity.  Especially since I’m not working another job for income.

This one was wall-to-wall copy and I was very happy with my performance in the room.  Hopefully, I will get a callback, but if I don’t I’ll get one soon for something else.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

This past Halloween my 9 year-old Goddaughter, Hazel, requested that I attend Career Day at her school to share the ins and outs of my career as a photographer. Evidently she thinks I'm a photographer because I'm usually shooting photos when she sees me.

I called a meeting with her and "discussed" the possibility of my attendance as, I don't know...an actor? She gave the "go ahead", fortunately. I didn't have the guts to ask her if she thinks I'm a better photographer than actor.

I tossed a few ideas out there like bringing a few old/new headshots, a demo reel of past work and maybe writing a scene so that they could perform in the class. The performance part really got her excited!

So I wrote a 4-page, 6 person scene for them. I included some unisex character names so it would be easier to assign roles to the students.

I spoke to 4 classes total; 3 were 4th/5th graders and 1 was 2nd/3rd graders. It was a complete blast! We all had a great time and I heard a few days later that the students really enjoyed it.

What I didn't know until just before I went home for the holidays was that the students wrote letters of appreciation to me. When Hazel's father dropped me off at LAX for my flight he gave me the letters.

I'm admittedly a quite emotional person and the letters really touched me.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition/Producers: “I Feel Like Going On” @ Biblical Films.  This was the first time I’ve done a monologue since who knows when and I’m happy to say that I feel that it went pretty well.  I didn’t get all of the dialogue correct, but the essence of the piece was in tact to the very end.  I left with a feeling that I might have half a chance in this “acting thing”.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

Audition: “Atlas Shrugged 3: Who is John Galt?” @ Beach/Katzman Casting.  One-liners get more and more difficult it seems.  Geez.

http://www.stephonfuller.com