HAPPY ANNIVERSARY*Today, May 10, is my 7 year anniversary of arriving in New York from Virginia Beach, VA. I remember it like yesterday. My buddy, William Gregory Lee, and I were leaving on the red-eye Greyhound bus to Port Authority 42nd Street. I had a grand total of bucks, no job, but a temporary place to stay. What the heck was I thinking?

I went from living a relatively normal life one day to sharing a bed with Greg in the "Hell's Kitchen" section of New York for 4 months. That section of NYC is much, much nicer these days than it was in '95. My acting teacher in Virginia Beach was telling us that we needed a minimum of ,000 a piece before we could make the move. Maybe that was why we didn't tell her that we were leaving.

I used to walk through Manhattan with the challenge of somehow making sense of it all before I left. I mean with the big buildings, mass transit, filthy streets, the snow, etc. I grew up in the suburbs; this was like moving to Mars. I didn't want to feel like I ran away from the metropolis. In the end, I was very happy with the circumstances of my departure.

Greg and I almost came to LA first. I shudder to think of not having my NY experiences under my belt. Not only as an actor, but as a person. It is/was priceless for me. Make no mistake; I am glad I am in LA. I'm just glad I went there first; it was instrumental in my relatively smooth transition to LA.

My buddy and I often talk about the day we met, September 22 '93, and the fact that we are still here doing what we actually said we would do. We have both been fortunate to travel and work with some really special people.

Last night, after talking about it over the years, we actually sat down and starting writing our first screenplay. Ya know, just putting down ideas and seeing where it leads us. Neither of us have any experience in this, but we are just going to go for it. I feel so fortunate to get to do this for a living that, at times, I can hardly believe it. I am trying to "taste" every moment of it along the way. So if you catch me taking pictures in my dressing room on a set somewhere don't laugh!! I save all kinds of mementos from my experiences. I am not waiting to "arrive" to start enjoying the journey, everyday is a great day. Has it been rough at times? You better believe it!!

Has it been a "struggle"? Mmmmmm, I don't like that word, I think 'struggle' is largely a state of mind. I have had many 'challenges' that have shown me what I am made of. I will say that I am glad that I have a lot of these experiences behind me and hopefully I can keep moving forward.

I feel fortunate to have so many to share with and to share with me in return. We are all in this together, I say let's keep going!!

Also, this evening my commercial agent calls to let me know that the McDonald's spot is still being cast. Cool, there is still a chance then. We'll see.

One step closer. They call to check my availability because the dates have changed from Thursday/Friday to Saturday/Sunday. This would be even better since weekend commercial shoots pay more.

YES!! I get a callback for "McDonald's" and it goes really, really well.

The "McDonald's" audition is a blast!! My callback ratio has increased greatly over the last year or so, hopefully I'll get one here.

MAY 1st '02*I guess the slow-down has started. While I was working on those recent gigs I missed a couple of commercial auditions. One of them was an avail for Red Lobster national!! That is kinda hard to take, but that is how it goes sometimes. Today I dropped my car to the shop for some work; it is across from Chelsea Studios. I always stop in to see what's going on; maybe I can squeeze my way into something. I was in no hurry since I was catching the city bus to get home, so I stake out the place for an hour trying to make it happen. I had my eye on this McDonald's spot, but it didn't look like it was gonna happen. I was not totally sure of the types and the session runner was a little crazed. Oh well, at least I tried. Three hours later my wonderful agents @ KSA call with an appointment for it!! Just goes to show we never really know what our agents are doing behind the scenes.

OMIGOD!! I didn't get fired, replaced, written out or anything else. Second, thanks Julia Flint and Kimberly Crandell for coming out to support me. It was a pleasant surprise to see the two of you there and it means a lot.

The shoot: After a noon start we had a camera rehearsal to tighten up our movements and work out the new dialogue.

Lunch: Boy are they feeding us well on this gig! This is like mom's cooking! Well, not really but sorta.

I gotta say that so much of what has happened in the last month is kinda surreal for me. I ask myself how these things keep happening. In reality, it is happening in the exact way that I planned, but still.

I've been reading a book about the industry "Showrunners", the ones that really make a lot of the big moves in the TV biz. When the two of them walked by and spoke to me. I just shook my head, after speaking back to them of course. WHAT!!

Not 5 minutes later while I was still reading, two women were coming from the other direction. I was stealing a glance at them thinking I recognized them. They looked at me and spoke; it was Amy & Wendy Engelberg, Executive Producer/Writers of the pilot "So Downtown" I worked on a month ago. It was a very small role that my agent didn't really want me to do, but I felt otherwise. They asked what I was working on and told me that they were still editing their show. They said they'll see me again in the future in a larger role. WHAT!!

The shoot:

We were shooting with a real studio audience, so the energy was great and honest. The "Bonnie Hunt" audience was made up of background actors. As each scene was shot the writers were huddled in front of the monitors and anything that was flat was rewritten on the spot. The actors got new lines right then and there and it was shot again right away. Yup!! Live audience, 4 film cameras running, studio heads, network heads, agents, managers and James Burrows, the top comedy TV director in the business!! ACTION! Cold reading skills are so important. Myself, I only had a 3 lines and nothing changed on set, just several times during the week. I was kinda under the radar, so I could do a lot of observing and learning. The shoot was "smoove like butta", this pilot is hot!! I'm sure NBC will promote it extensively. Also, I'm hearing talk of me being around when it goes in production this summer. We'll see.

Afterwards the producers invited the cast & crew to Mexicali, a nearby restaurant to celebrate. Hopefully, I'll see them in July/August.

Today we had the studio & network run-thru for "Good Morning, Miami". It was really, really funny stuff. We had a full studio audience and it was filmed with one camera. Myself, I'm just happy to still have a job. In the sitcom world, especially, the script is a moving target. There are constant changes to fine tune. These writers are incredible to say the least. There are 6 regulars and I have seen the guest cast dance like this:

Last Saturday at the table read 5 in the guest cast.

Tuesday 2 in the guest cast.

Wednesday 5 in the guest cast.

Saturday (today) 4 in the guest cast. One role was written out (one of the new ones for Wednesday), one role was totally changed on the spot (she was brand new today). Keep those cold reading skills primed!! The pages we received just before going on stage were still warm!! I and one other actress have remained in every version so far.

At Monday's camera blocking rehearsal we have already been told there will be changes. Not necessarily anyone written in or out, but at least dialogue changes.

Tuesday, we shoot. Who knows maybe I'll actually still have a job. LOL!!

For me, it's fascinating to watch these writers/producers create this stuff first hand, then to be a part of molding and shaping it.

Tonight I attended a rough cut screening of "The Bonnie Hunt Show" pilot. It was hilarious to say the least!! It isn't hard to tell why she is a viable "lead" for a show. She really drives the vehicle. I was barely seen or heard, which I figured would be the case. The part that was interesting was getting all kinds of wonderful marks from Bonnie and the 1st AD. Bonnie was saying that I was the only one of the "production crew" on the show that wasn't a Second City friend from Chicago and that I came right in and was able to keep up. Why thank you, LOL!! It wasn't that hard, I've had lots of cold reading practice. Separately, the 1st was thanking me for being able to switch roles the way I did. I HAD 2 LINES!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm smart enough to know that getting compliments from Bonnie, her writing partner Don Lake, the 1st AD & others is where you wanna be.

I had a great time, but there wasn't a whole lot for me to do. It was a treat just to watch this woman work with her team. What was really cool was when I was leaving the studio and one of the PA's was at the security gate. He had kind words for me. I kinda shrugged it off, but he said that he had seen "all" of the rough footage and I was very funny. I will be surprised if this show isn't on the ABC Fall schedule. For me, it isn't so much about this particular job; it's more the relationships that I am cultivating.

Just checking in with what has been going on the last couple of days. Tuesday morning I get the scripts for both "Bonnie Hunt" & "Good Morning, Miami". Tuesday is shoot day for "BH" & the first day of rehearsal for "GM, M".

My agents had worked it out and "GM, M" was aware that I wouldn't be there for the first rehearsal. I only had a couple of lines so it didn't seem like a big deal. When I open the "GM, M" script I see that more than half of the guest cast was gone and there were some pretty significant changes in the script. "Omigod, have I been written out?!?!"(I have this thing were I think I am going to replaced everyday, weird huh). No. They wouldn't have sent me a script if I was no longer part of it. So I start looking for the changes. My role had changed a bit, now I was in the opening scene with the series lead and it was more than a couple of lines.

One problem, I WON'T BE THERE TO REHEARSE!! I am @ "BH" shooting! I was curious as to what this would mean, if anything. So the entire day at "BH" and wondering if I am gonna get replaced "GM, M". I am not freaked out about getting replaced, it happens. I sorta feel like I will have arrived when it does happen. I would think that quite a few big name actors have been replaced, fired, written out, sort of a right-of-passage maybe.

Towards the end of the 12 hour day @ "BH" my agent calls with my call time for "GM, M". I'm still employed!! LOL!! I was expecting more changes in the script Wednesday morning. Of course there were changes that included me, plus they added 3 characters. When casting directors' say that things happen fast, they mean it. Keep sending those postcards. The small roles that pop-up at the last minute are, most likely, being cast from their files. It is interesting actually witnessing the process in real time.

Wednesday 9AM-I meet 2 of the 3 new cast members and we table read the new script with director James Burrows. After that, we do a blocking rehearsal. Later we do a run-thru with the producers and entire "Will & Grace" writing staff, working each scene as we go. 4 more days to go, I am curious to see if I will survive the rewrites...........Oh yeah, the third role hadn't been cast yet. Doesn't matter, it was cut during the producer run-thru. Things happen fast.

Tonight I finished my week on "The Bonnie Hunt Show" pilot. It was a complete blast. Definitely a loose set to work on. She is truly in the moment. You never know what she is going to say or do. Since she was also directing, it was just a barrel of fun. I just had a couple of lines, but I am her wardrobe person so I stick pretty close to her at all times when we are in the TV studio on the show. David Alan Grier is hysterical to say the least. Many of the cast had worked with Bonnie before; it was like she opened her address book and called her friends. Quite a few being from Chicago's famed Second City. One guy met her last year at a charity event at his school and she told him that if she gets this pilot he'll be in it. He was there on his first TV gig ever.

Talk continued today about my role coming back in the future. We'll see; I am not holding my breath. When I said thanks and goodbye to her tonight she even said I'll be back. Anyway when this show goes into production this summer make it your business to get on it. Not only is she very talented person to work with. She is wonderful woman; very working-class. She told me that she got a few breaks early in her career that encouraged her to keep going. You might think that she would be going nuts since she is the Star, Producer, Writer and Director of the show. She was cool as ever.

Today I participated in the table read for "Good Morning, Miami". For me, it is almost surreal to get to rub elbows with the people that I have since moving to LA. This was no exception, when we read Suzanne Pleshette was on my left and premier TV director James Burrows was on my right. I asked myself "how did I get here"? First we read it for James and Dave Kohan & Max Mutchnick; they are the writers/producers of "Will & Grace" and are behind this pilot as well. It was very well received by just us in the room. Forty-five minutes later we were scheduled to read it again for the network brass. The producers wanted all us to stay in the bungalow so that we would be presented to the network as a team. There were 40-45 people in the room. It was just weird to walk in have all these people applauding us. "How did I get here?"

Anyway we read it again with great responses from the room. You can really tell why these actors are working constantly; they really take the words and give them life. The show is already picked up for 13 episodes and since I have a very small, but sorta significant role there is talk of it recurring. Time will tell. I finish "The Bonnie Hunt Show"on Tuesday & start "GM, M" on Wednesday.

Alright, I'm still employed!! Today we had the run-thru for the network (ABC). They are the powers that be and their opinions count. It went well and, to me, things look really good. There is a bit of talk about my new role recurring. Wouldn't that be nice? A couple of series regulars and even casting is saying "it looks good", we'll see. Not being one to count my chickens before they hatch, I must say it looks promising. I'll believe it when I see it; in the mean time it is exciting. My commercial agent calls and has an avail for me for "Red Lobster", but I have to cancel because I am not available for both shoot dates. It conflicts with "Good Morning, Miami" rehearsal. I guess I gotta take the good with the not-so-good.

I wake up this morning and the new "The Bonnie Hunt Show" script is outside my door. I casually open it not knowing what to expect. They have written a new character for me and worked it into another scene. It's a smaller part but a better part. I am now her wardrobe person!! She gave me the wink and said "this works out better for you huh?" YEAH!!

So if the show gets picked up hopefully she will need her wardrobe guy close by, ya think. After all, it is a morning entertainment talk show like "Regis". We had the table read today for the studio and it was hilarious, tomorrow is for the network. Hopefully, I won't get written out tomorrow. LOL!! Also, the original role that I had been cast in hadn't been filled today; one of the writers read it. I guess someone will be there tomorrow. Lastly, from what I understand the "Good Morning, Miami" pilot that I start next Wednesday is being directed by the acclaimed James Burrows. Gotta Keep Movin'!!

It's amazing what can happen in 3 hours, today was a some kind of day. I go to rehearsal for "The Bonnie Hunt Show" this afternoon and after going through wardrobe I was taken to set. First Bonnie wanted to talk to me. HUH? Some questions had come up about the scene I'm in.

They thought something could, in a round-about-kinda-way be look at as racist. She wanted to know how I felt about it. HUH? Yeah, she sat me down and we discussed it for 10 minutes, just her and I. Obviously, the decision was hers and hers only, but she wanted to know if I wanted to just do it or switch with the other guy in the scene. She said if the show gets picked up she would bring me back to do another episode.

So I'm thinking. Should I step down (the other role was smaller) or step out altogether. My mind is racing a mile a minute. I figure if I step down, the other role has fewer lines. If I step out, Bonnie will look out for me later. She will be actively trying to make something happen for me. Not a bad way for her to remember me I feel. I'll get paid for week either way.

I tell her that I trust her judgment; I feel the show will be picked up and I'll see her during the season. She thinks I made a smart move (believe me, I know it ain't about me, it's gonna be her decision). I had previously checked the IMDB's of all of the regulars and guest cast and she had worked with about half of them before. Also, the way I looked at it, there wasn't really anywhere for my character to go, as far as coming back on the show.

This leaves the door open for her to write something for "me" in this project or another. She shook my hand and gave me her word. Cool and surreal at the same time. I am still due to be there tomorrow so who knows what will happen between now and then.

I call my agent to fill her in on the details. Ten minutes later my agent calls back with an audition for a pilot called "Good Morning, Miami". It's from the same creative team as "Will & Grace". Tracy Lilienfield & Katherine Eckert are casting @ CBS Radford (last week while on the lot for something else I did drop-offs to everyone over there I could find). I was in Culver City, so she said to just get over there when I could.

Soon as I get on the lot I see Daniel Spanton, he's reading for a different show, love to see others in the field. The role is just a couple of lines, BUT it's the stage manager of a morning show. Yeah, you know what I'm thinking. They gotta have stage manager, right!?! Before I even got home I found out that I got the role, and it's already been picked up for 13 episodes. All that happened in 3 hours. I could get used to this.......

Today I attended the table read for "Life With Bonnie" it was hilarious. Seeing Bonnie Hunt & David Alan Grier go at it was a real treat. On my way to my dressing room I found a room that had the entire cast of the pilot on a wall. I always wanted to see my photo on the cast wall. We all know it's in enough trash cans around town, this is a nice change of pace. LOL!

I guess it helps to "not" wait for the phone to ring. While not waiting for it to ring I got word that I booked a role in "The Bonnie Hunt Show" pilot. David Alan Grier is in too. It is part single-camera/part-multi camera. The table read is Monday and I work a couple of days during the week.

The week started with a BK audition. Got a callback/avail, but didn't book. Went in for another AFI film and had a callback today. I really want to be a part of this project; it would give me a chance to really embrace a character. I also worked on Tori Spelling's pilot "So Downtown". During lunch saw Tom Hanks, wife Rita Wilson and powerhouse manager/producer Bernie Brillstein on the CBS lot. Two mega-stars in a week!! I saw Denzel and his Ferrari @ Fox.

This one really caught me by surprise. One of my theatrical agents is retiring. She's been in the business all of her adult life and has decided to shift gears. Good for her, from what I can see she really deserves it.

On Thursday I went in for the "The Bonnie Hunt Project" @ Deborah Barylski's office. I read for two different smaller roles. Can I tell you that Deborah & Lynn Mason are two of the nicest casting people I have ever met? They sat me down and ask questions about me. I have never met anyone from this office before and they seemed to really care about what was going on with me. They seemed happy with my read, thanked me and I was on my way out as a call came in for Deborah. I was gathering my things and Lynn asked me to stay for a moment. They called me back in the room, gave me direction which amounted to dropping the script and doing an improv of an outline of the scene. It was even better this time. They sat me down again, explained to me how Bonnie works. Then Deborah told me she was going to recommend that Bonnie hire me. She even told how to handle the table read. It just seemed weird that she was telling me so much about the project and how Bonnie worked. I mean they were not large roles at all and didn't seem like they would recur. Hey, I'm not complaining it was just different. All of this time no other actors were in the office. She said that since it is a pilot it has to be approved by the network and the studio. Getting this role would be so above the call, because I am just so happy with what has already happened. She has never worked with Bonnie and is hiring these roles herself. I feel great that she is willing to send me straight to the table read without the filter of a producer session, and on for a pilot no less. I am not waiting on the phone to ring on this one.

This was the worse audition ever I think. It was for "Burger King". It was supposed to be our first audition. It was funny at hard it was to shake all that "actor stuff" of being polished but not really. So I made the choice of only looking at the copy once in rehearsal. Then I would "really" look stupid. I left feeling like it was really bad/really good. I just hope I can be as bad/good today.

Today makes it a full year since I left my overnight job waiting tables at a Hollywood Hotspot on the Sunset Strip. What a year it has been. I didn't leave the job because I had a lot of money. Yeah, I did have several minor things going on at the time, but nothing that guaranteed cash flow. No, it was more of a leap of faith for me. I felt I was doing about everything in my power to further my career and I had to move to the next level somehow. It was time to cut the safety net.

The job was killing me dead in my tracks. I had been working graveyard (11pm-7am) for 2 1/2 years, in class, auditioning, attending CD workshops and not sleeping at all. The big question I had to ask myself was "will it be harder to stay in this job or will it be harder to leave and possibly have to come back?" My answer was to take my chances now!! So I did. I requested a 3 month leave of absence. My plan was to get some things done that I couldn't get to before, my website, a voiceover class and a dance class. Fortunately, I was able to do all three, no more excuses.It has been an interesting year. I have been challenged like never before. I have also booked jobs like never before, but most of them have not paid a whole lot. That is okay because it has given me the opportunity to build my resume. When I left the job on March 25, 2001 my tentative return date was June 29, 2001. That date came and I was no where to found, I wasn't going back with out a fight. I've had ups and downs throughout, not emotionally or mentally, mainly just financially.

At times, it really made a difference when that steady cash wasn't coming in. Which made it clearer to me why I am concentrating on TV & commercials at this point in my career? I've had to call my old job a couple of times just to "check the temperature" of a possible return. I remember doing it once at the end of September and then booking 2 gigs that week. I also remember almost not being able to go home for X-mas, having to give up cable TV, trying to keep my cell phone and pager connected and let's not get started on my car issues. Just got cable back and things are looking up. All in all it's been wild jugglin' the money, not being able to afford reprinting photos and having to use alternative methods.

For whatever reason I have really enjoyed the challenged, it lets me know that I have a pulse. A year later I still stay up all night, the graveyard schedule is etched in my mind. I normally go to bed between 3-5am. My agents know I made the jump and have been really understanding of it all. I have auditioned for gigs that they might prefer I didn't, but I just wanna work. I feel like I am emerging from the woods and I won't have to go back, but who knows. With the survival gig thing I have changed my tune from "I am on a leave of absence" to "I used to work there". I hope it stays that way. It's really been a blessing to have a supportive family and friends some of which I have never met. Thank & Peace!!

I booked a small role in the pilot "So Downtown" @ Greg Orson Casting. I'm glad I got it, because I twisted my knee while making a "strong choice". Ouch!! It still hurts! My agent did not want me to do it, but I needed the money.