Audition: “Statefarm” @ Alyson Horn Casting. This was fun, funny stuff.  I got to work with kids and that’s always good time for me; I like messing with them!

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14 years ago today I moved to Los Angeles from New York to further my acting career. I can't believe it's been 14 years.  I guess I should be calling Los Angeles home now, but for some reason I’m still not sure…

In other news I started a 7-week INTRODUCTION TO IMPROV class at iO today.  I think I need to be looser while performing and hopefully studying improv will help me achieve that goal.  It’s funny because I have no problem with being loose in real life, but sometimes when I perform I almost seem like I have a stick up my a** so I’m trying to fix, LOL!

Class today was fun and there are some talented people in there, so it should be a great experience.

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Guess who has an audition?  Me!  It feels it’s been forever.

Audition: “UPS” @ TLC/Loree Booth Casting.  It’s funny; every time I audition at that office the conversation, before and after the audition, takes longer than the actual audition.  It’s always good, interesting conversation about politics, music, the economy, etc…and I’ve booked in the office several times in the past; including my last commercial booking.  The audition went well and was a nice welcome back to work that I moved her to do!

Uh oh…my credit for TOTAL RECALL on IMDB has been changed to “uncredited”.  That isn’t good news for my possible appearance in the film…or any future residuals.  Well that’s the way it goes sometimes. I mean I can't be upset, after all, they did pay me for my 2 days of work and the really great thing is that the Casting Director, Debra Zane and her associate Tannis, has me on her mind.  I really appreciate that.

Debra has cast me in 4 studio films, although I’ve only gotten to actually shoot 2 of them and looks like I'll only be appearing in one of them.  That one is THE TERMINAL.  She cast me in OCEANS 12, but they were over budget and behind schedule some my scene was cut.  She cast me in OCEANS 13, but they were ahead of schedule and the dates I had been given changed after I had also booked a commercial for MICHELIN.  After a lot of trying to make the dates worked I finally had to pull out of the movie. That was a really hard thing to do because not only, obviously, I wanted to work on the movie but I also had a scene with Al Pacino.

I later found out that I had been cut out of the MICHELIN commercial.  OUCH!  Yeah, tough stuff. I’ve been hired twice by Steven Soderbergh but I’ve never gotten to shoot anything for him or even meet him.  It’ll happen one day in the future.

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Well, it’s over; my vacation that is.  I really wish I had another week away from the hustle & bustle of Hollywood, but time is short and I have a plane ticket back home.  Is LA home for me?  I’m still in denial after 14 years of being here.  Geez. 

Overall, the trip was bitter/sweet and it seems to get more bitter and more sweet every time.  As many of us know, family can be trying and beautiful at the same time.  I got most everything done that I had planned and new horizons concerning the future of the family business are exciting.  Nothing concrete or officially involving me, but I’m an optimist of what the future might hold.

It’s amazing, I left Virginia Beach 17 years ago and I still dream of somehow, figuring out how to be in two places at once.  I have such strong feelings that our family business, Philadelphia Cold Cuts, has the potential of being wildly successful…and I want to be a part of it.  I talk about it ALL the time.  I’d love to work with my brothers again, but it’d never happen with my father in the mix.  At least I can’t see how it could.  The kicker is that I still, very much, want to perform professionally.  I don’t know…

One thing I do know for sure is that I can do FAR more than I am doing in this life and I need to find a way of getting closer to realizing my full potential…in Hollywood and out of Hollywood.    I didn’t move to Hollywood to serve burgers and fries and I while I greatly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate the employment; I should be doing so, SO much more.

Speaking of Hollywood; I missed an audition today for a web series because I was travelling.  Oh well, not much I can do about it except for attempt to get rescheduled.

Without question, the coolest thing about coming back to LA was flying first class.  It makes SUCH a HUGE difference.  I could definitely get used to traveling first-class.  

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This was a bit of a head trip for me.  Today I went to a small family reunion on my father’s side of the family.  Even though the gathering was only about 50 miles away my father didn’t attend.  Who knows why; my father was just being…”my father”. 

The crazy thing for me was that I haven’t seen or spoken to my father in 9-10 years so I don’t really know what he looks like anymore.  I mean I have an idea what he looks like, but that’s it, an idea.  When we arrived, some of the first few people I saw were two of his nephews - my cousins.  I was kind of staring at them in this weird way because they are the closest thing, in my life, that resembles my father.  And they were living, breathing, talking, interacting with people, etc!  It was just odd…and quite sad actually.  Not the event, just the notion of being so rejected by my own dad.  It’s amazing; I guess I don’t exist in his world anymore.

I’d be lying if I said that being rejected in that way hasn’t affected me; it has.  Of course it has…and does.  I’m not sure what I did to contribute to it being this way between he and I…maybe nothing.  It has always been this way from what I can remember.  I’m one of 6 children and he had his favorites and I certainly was not/am not one of them.  “Favorites” might not be accurate, but he treated some of us “more favorable” than others.  Maybe it’s just that way he’s wired.  It scares me for my future to be honest.  I’m so afraid of ultimately being like him that I feel that I may end up being…exactly like him.

At any rate, I had fun at the event.  

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I arrived home, late last night, and have been in the car all day with my brother Todd, niece Sophia and her mom.  Todd and I are taking them to Dulles airport in Northern, VA so they can travel to Lithuania (where mom is from) to visit and so that Sophia can meet her family for the first time.   

It was a long day, but a great trip even if just to look out of the window of the car at a different, East Coast landscape.  We even ran into a little bit of “Hollywood” at the airport.  My brother spotted Tommy “Tiny” Lister aka “Deebo” from “Friday” walking towards us with his driver.  Todd remembered that I’d been a reader for him years ago for a potential film project.  His driver sprinted off to get the car so he wouldn’t have to walk in the heat and humidity.  I walked up to Mr. Lister and, of course, he had no recollection of when we’d met, but we chatted and my brother and I took a photo with him.  He asked me what I was doing there in VA.  I told him I was “still in LA”, but just home on vacation. 

As I was walking away he called after me and asked, “What’s a reader?”  I explained to him that I was the person that he read the scenes with for the casting director.  Funny!

Me and Tommy "Tiny" Lister at Dulles Airport 

While waiting for his driver to bring the car he walked over to us and sat on the bumper of the open trunk of our car and chatted with us.  We asked him about the rumors of a new Friday film being produced and he said Ice Cube had turned in a script, most everyone seemed to be on board and it looks like it might actually happen.  It was a pretty cool experience.

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Today I am leaving on a jet plane to go home to Virginia on a much needed vacation.  I’m really looking forward to meeting my newest niece, 5-month old Sophia, for the first time.      

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My younger/bigger brother, Jeff, was in town this week from Virginia Beach and we had a great time!  We went to The San Diego Zoo & Wild Animal Park, an LA Dodger game, Go-Kart racing and even visited a Rolls-Royce Dealership…

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It’s my birthday…yeah.  I’ve never been too big about celebrating my date of birth. I’m not sure how that started, but I think it has to do with my extreme fear of rejection.  I’ve never once asked for anything for my birthday and definitely don’t have the guts to attempt to have a birthday party.  I just feel that nobody would show up, but that has been proven wrong because a co-worker pulled together a celebration for me a few years ago and people did show up!  It all probably has to do with me being rejected by my father growing up and still being rejected to this very moment; just a guess.  I think I’m on to something… 

On another note, I was interviewed about how I became debt-free by The JW Financial Coaching Podcast.  It was great to be able to share my journey on one of the smartest things I have ever done in my life by paying off ALL of my bills and turning into a saving machine!  I hope it inspires even just one more person to take control of their finances.  Here is the link:

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Audition/tape: “Hollywood Heights” @ Shaner/Testa Casting.  I felt ready for this read, but got mush mouth after the CD said “Action!”. It was weird; it was like I had marbles in my mouth.  Fortunately, the CD gave me another shot and I felt much better the second time around.   Then I did the second scene and that was good too.  I would love to FINALLY book something at this office.

After the audition I made my way to the credit union for my weekly deposit and ran into Matt Nolan, an actor I worked with on WEEDS in 2005.  Back when he and I worked on the show I didn’t have another job; I was making my entire living through acting.  Matt had been a similar situation, but needed to pick up a regular job and told me that he worked that job for 7 years.  I remember that my entire body shook when he said “7 years”.

The thought of having to go back to a regular job terrified me back then; even though I knew it could happen one day.  So here I sit, 7 years later from working with Matt on WEEDS.  I’ve been back at my supplemental job for 4 years…and who knows how much longer I will be there or somewhere else to make a living outside of performing.  The job wreaks havoc on me in many ways and has been a really good thing in as many ways too. 

Anyway, it was great to see Matt and he gave me a heads up on some things that he’s doing that could help me out as well.   

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Audition/producers: “The Wedding Party” Kendra Shay Clark & Helen Geier Casting.  Yes!  I had a great time in this audition…so much that I bought a dozen of donuts (Krispy-Kreme) on the way home.  A booking would be nice; I gotta get my butt in gear and produce some results in 2012!

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Today I had a short meeting with my new print agent.  She seems to be on the ball and ready to rock and roll.  I hope my photos that I’ve invested a lot of money in do the trick.  I’ll give it 2-3 months and see how much, if any, print auditions I get.  I really don’t want to have to reshoot…I wanna book some jobs.

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Callback: “SoCal Honda” @ Alyson Horn Casting.  I’ve had callbcks for this director several times in the past, but I never walk away feeling great.  Never bad, but not great…which has little to do with whether one books the job or not.

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Callback: “Fiber One” @ Kathy Knowles Casting.  I felt good about this callback and had a great wife to work with.  Hopefully, I’ll be placed on avail…or booked.

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Audition: “SoCal Honda” @ Alyson Horn Casting.  I think this went pretty well; mostly because the session director was so generous with his time, support and instruction.  My partner and I eventually got it right and walked away feeling great.  I was really happy because I actually overslept and woke up 5 minutes before my appointment.  I jumped in and out of the shower in a flash and raced over to the office; fortunately I live very close and wasn’t too late.

Audition: “Dodge” @ Ross Lacy Casting.  Eh…not so sure about this one.  Even though it was just a personality interview type of situation I don’t know how well I came off on camera.  I was last in a line of 5 people and I think I might have been trying too hard to be interesting.  I don’t know; I just didn’t feel like it was a success…but that doesn’t mean I won’t get a callback.

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Audition: “Fiber One” @ Kathy Knowles Casting.  This was a great time!  I had a great wife that I played a great, affectionate husband to and two other male actors in the scene that really went for it.  I was so impressed with their commitment while watching them work.  

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Audition: “Audi” @ Plaster Casting.  Ha!  This one felt really good; even though I wasn’t totally sure what I was doing…I did it.  So, hopefully, I’ll be at callbacks.

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Audition: “Samsung” @ Cathi Carlton Casting.  Hmm…not sure how this one went.  I had to dance and I’m not that good at dancing.  Plus, I injured my back last week at the gym and I’m still a little stiff.   I did the best I could, but I think I…needed a little more…

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So yesterday I went to see THE AVENGERS.  Honestly, I don’t know too much about the history of each character and all of that since I’m not too versed about comic books.   As a kid I was out playing in the woods finding snakes or building a ramp to jump over people on my BMX bike – stuff like that.  As a result I didn’t watch a ton of TV…I know who Superman is though.  So I just watched the film and enjoyed it for what was on the screen in front of me.  I liked it.

At the very end my mind perked up to some dialogue that, for some reason, seemed familiar to me; very familiar.  I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then it came to me.  I’m referring to the people at the very end of the film that were, basically, talking about how cool it was that The Avengers were there to save the day. 

Cut to:

Back on February 3^rd of this year I got a last minute call for an audition for a small role in a very large studio film.  I didn’t know what the project was then, but now I know it was THE AVENGERS!  Obviously, I didn’t get the role, but I mention it because it made me feel as though I don’t give myself enough credit for what I have accomplished in the entertainment business.  It’s easy to concentrate on the fact that I didn’t get the role, but what I did get is confirmation that I’m on the mind of one of the most important studio film casting offices in Hollywood.  Just last month I booked a role in TOTAL RECALL, without auditioning.  That booking came from being on the mind of a different, really important, casting director in town.  Yeah, I’m making progress and I need to remember that and not be so hard of myself…while still pushing to make this career go to the next level.

I had a good commercial class today; I was pretty happy with my performance.  During the class a funny thing happened when the instructor was talking about an ad campaign from some years ago that was very successful.  The client, a bank, then changed ad agencies and shot a new campaign which, I guess, was a failure.  That bank is now out of business.  I was in one of the commercials of the new $100 million dollar campaign.  Ha!  Am I failure?  I don’t know, but I had a great time shooting the commercial and I made good money it.  I guess if one books enough commercials some of those companies will go out of business…just pay me first! 

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Audition: “Verizon” @ Pogo Casting.  I had no idea what I was doing in this one, well, maybe a little bit, but “my wife” was very helpful.  Thanks baby, lol!

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