Thursday, February 12, 2004

Audition: "Ball Park Franks" @ TLC/Loree Booth casting. I've booked in this office before and have had several avails. I don't know if this is a Joe Pytka directed spot, but I'll have my game face on as always.

Tonight I am going to attend what I think might be the final taping of "Good Morning, Miami" this season. It might be kinda weird to go back, but that's okay. It's not to go try to get seen by everyone, I just know if I don't go I'll regret it if it's not on the schedule for next season. Working on the show was something I won't soon forget for a variety of reasons. One major one was getting to spend time with my mother in her last weeks & days. I will be forever grateful for that. Thank you Tracy Lilienfield & Katherine Eckert, creators Max Mutchnick & David Kohan and their team, the cast & crew of "Good Morning, Miami" including the regular background actors and NBC. I know that's probably weird, but I am truly thankful.'s a tricky thing for most of us. We all have to find our way somehow....someway. My family is so unbelievably important to me. It is one of the biggest driving forces in my life. The light at the end of the tunnel is spending time with my family.
Often times I'm asked how I keep hustling in this career at the hectic pace that I do. I don't even know myself sometimes. I try to answer that question from an outsider's point of view and I just shake my head. For one thing, I absolutely love business & marketing. That dedication to business & marketing will increase my chances of getting to act. Also, the fact that, being largely independent, I rarely have to wait on anyone to get work done. I feel like I am in control of my destiny.

I work really long hours and need very little rest. I usually go to sleep between 3-5am and sleep 4-6 hours. I think part of that is holdover from working graveyard shifts at The Standard & Old Navy. It's like I punch in at 11pm, turn on some talk radio and get to work. Even I don't really know sometimes what it is I'm doing at those hours, but "feels" really important.

Occasionally I ask myself: Why don't I get discouraged? How do I keep such a positive attitude so much of the time? I can't explain it other than saying it is who I am. Some can't and don't believe it. I would have a hard time believing it too if I didn't know better.

What I am living is "damn near impossible". Meaning trying to make a living as an actor. Even though I expected to be able to accomplish it it's still kinda surreal to me. Trust me, I don't live high on the hog, but I am able to do mostly what I want to do.

I get a tremendous amount of support from people I know and a huge amount from people that I don't yet know. It's an incredible feeling. My youngest brother, Todd, is one of my biggest fans. He lives in Virginia with his wife and two small children. We talk everyday...........seriously. Actually we talk numerous times everyday. We both have the same cell phone service, so calls to each other are free. It's great because when we have challenges we can bounce solutions off of each other. My other younger brother, Jeff, makes fun of my career at every chance he gets. It's some of the best laughs I get in life. In reality he is a big fan, but he laughs when he sees me walk through a scene and say a line or two. Hopefully that will begin to change in the near future.

Ironically, I have never gotten any support from my father. Nada.......none..........zilch. He feels and has always felt that I would amount to nothing in this life. He never made that a secret. He runs a successful business back East. I worked for him for years, but it was a dead end. Fortunately I escaped his clutches with my spirit intact. If I would have stayed I would be an empty soul. Sometimes I wonder if my drive is really trying to prove something to him. I don't think about him too often and haven't spoken to him in at least 8 months. Of course I'm probably in denial, at least a little bit. Since my mother passed away 15 months ago I feel like an orphan.

I'm not sure where that rant or whatever it was came from, but it was just a stream of consciousness that I wanted to write about.

big separation, many hours later

Wow! That's all I can really say. I just returned from the last taping of "Good Morning, Miami". I didn't know what to expect. I was treated as if I had never been gone. I got a chance speak almost everyone I had worked with, cast & crew. I watched most of the show from the bleachers with the audience, which is a different perspective. It's was neat to be surrounded by the energy of really dedicated fans of the show. It wasn't official that this was the last show ever, but I really seemed like it was. There were many tears being shed throughout the evening. I was sad to see it end too. I had gone through a lot while on the lot @ CBS Radford. So many memories, many great, none bad, but some were the hardest & most vivid ever in my life.

I just seems tragic that "Good Morning, Miami" may not ever get a fair chance to be a successful production. It just never seemed that the network was really supporting the show. Some recent developments that have come to light behind the scenes make it all make more sense.

While there I was invited to the wrap party to take place after the taping. It was a really cool get together and I was made to feel waaaaaay more like family than I expected. Then again, why should I be surprised? I did 14 episodes. Anyway, I am glad I went and I am glad I will work with many of them again in the future.

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