Callback: “FedEx” @
Kathy Knowles Casting.I arrived
about 30 minutes early for this one and I’m glad I did since the dialogue had
changed from the initial audition.
they handed me the size card to make sure my sizes and contact information was
correct they had written on it “has FedEx”.I asked the assistant if “has FedEx” is the same as “had
FedEx”? They were referring to the fact that I did a FedEx commercial back in
December 2012 but that spot has been finished for a while. I didn’t want them
to think that I had one currently airing.
the time I went in I was ready to rock & roll with the new dialogue.Things went great in the room!Yes!
later I received word from my agency that I had been placed on avail.Yes!YES!
Yesterday I got finger-printed
and a Tuberculosis skin test in preparation for becoming a mentor to the 5
year-old I’d mentioned recently.Tonight I attended an adoption class.I’m not “planning” to adopt anyone, but I guess one never
really knows where the future will take them.I guess that means I’m going to do it.
Stephon, arriving home after
attending a health care seminar in Burbank enters the lobby of his building. In
his hands was a small amount trash to toss in the can by the cluster mailbox.
He noticed someone was standing at the elevator, but didn’t pay too much
attention. He didn’t want to drop his cell phone or keys. When he turned back
to wait for the elevator he saw that it was his nemesis...SheHeHerHim aka
"SHHH", not thin, about 6’1” 250lbs, manly feet with shoulders the
width of a Fiat 500.
The elevator doors open, we
enter. SHHH slivers around like an anaconda…then presses “1”. Me, looking
straight ahead then realizes.
ME: Oh, “3”, thanks.
The “3” button is kinda messed up
and always has to be pressed several times. I noticed his dirty ass finger
nails working the button trying to get it to light up. It finally does.
SHHH: Come 143. 143. (Yes, in
that same, breathy, Marilyn Monroe “Mr. President” style of voice).
ME: No, I’m good.
The elevator starts to move. He
faces the door, stands in front of me, bends over and BACKS THE FK UP!!!
I gently push him away.
ME: Hey, I’m good.
The doors open on the first
floor. SHHH doesn’t get out, he stares at me.
I look at the floor and see the
biggest, nastiest hammered toed feet I’ve ever seen.
The doors close. He starts his
seductive dance again. In disbelief I start to laugh…I cannot believe this is
happening…until he reached and touched my rocket! Yeah, my freaking rocket!!!
ME: Yo, I’m good. I’m good.
SHHH: Come 143, I like. Come 143.
I’m holding my hands out
signaling for him to not come any closer.
The doors open on the 3rd floor.
My floor. I don’t get out. I don't want him on my floor.
The doors close. He behaves as
the elevator car moves back down to the first floor.
The doors open.
SHHH: Please 143. Okay? okay? 143.
ME: I’ll be alright. I’m good.
Before exiting he takes another
last swipe at my rocket, (which, like a Blacky Jackie Chan I block) and left me
with his best “come hither” look.
SHHH: Come 143 okay?
The doors close and the elevator
rises back up to the 3rd floor and I exit. I expected to see him down in the
courtyard when I got off upstairs, but he was nowhere to be found. He was
probably tidying up his place in anticipation of my arrival.
Dude should learn to keep his
hands to himself. He could end up getting punched in the nose, It’d be easier
if he’d just take the stairs…I pay too much rent in this building to take the
Upon further thought. I wonder if
this whole thing is a case of "Lost in Translation". Maybe he thinks
me saying, repeatedly, "I'm good, I'm good" is me bragging about
about my sexual prowess?????
Next time I'll say, "I'm
good at punching mofos in dey muhfking moufs". I mean, that is a big lie,
but I'll just put my mean face on when I say it...and ball up my fist. Dude
betta ask somebody...
I had an early morning dentist appointment.Ugh!Not good news, there is a crown that I finally have to get
taken care of.Plus, some of the
major dental work I had done going on two years ago has developed a little
problem.I knew about it a year
ago and have been putting it off, but I need to finally get it fixed.Fortunately, I won’t be charged for the
work.I already paid!
Audition: “The Miller’s” @ Dava Waite Peaslee
Casting.When I arrived at this
audition there had been another one line character written in at the last
minute.I felt that it went really
well in the room.I certainly made
them laugh.I feel really great
about booking one of the roles.C’mon Stephon!
Audition: “Toyota” @ Francene Selkirk Casting.I did good again!
Audition: “Hart of Dixie” @ Martinez-Nelson/Berger
Casting. This was so much
fun! It was an actual scene! A few scenes, in fact. I had a great time in the room.
My Life (just off) of
the Sunset Strip...
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING LOBBY -
As I come in from the parking
garage, into the lobby of my building, I see a woman entering from the front
door into the lobby. I say "hello" as we meet at the elevator.
Not to complicate things, but
this was not your "run-of-the-mill" woman. Ya know the type, the ones
that have babies, smell like roses, with mesmerizing lips and…produce milk at
certain times of the year. This woman was not that at all.
“She” was a very large man,
carrying a very small dog - a hot dog dog.
A moment later the elevator
arrived and the “4" of us entered. I say “4” because I just wasn’t sure
how to categorize…the person. So it was me, the woman who looked like a man,
the man who looked like a woman… and the hot dog dog.
The elevator arrived and since
the ManWomanWomanMan had their hands full I asked “what floor are you going
to?” “They”, SheHeHerHim answered “Wwhone” in their best “Marilyn Monroe”…I
understood it as “the 1st floor”. I pressed “1” for them and “3” for me.
The doors closed. It seemed like
it took at least 45 seconds for the elevator to move so I attempted some small
talk to pass the time.
“How are you this evening?” I
asked. SheHeHerHim didn’t really “answer”, SheHeHerHim just kinda exhaled at
me…again, kinda like, I would have guessed, Marilyn Monroe would have done it -
but way less sexy.
All this was happening really
Finally the elevator door closed
and we started moving. SheHeHerHim never looked away from me. I just silently
stared at my W-2 in my hand to pass the time. What seemed like 90 minutes later
we arrived at the first floor.
The doors opened. SheHe…just
stood there. I was frozen, and then finally, I looked up as HeShe, still
staring at me, slowly started to exit while doing this weird tongue movement
and then winked. I threw back an odd acknowledgement and looked down at my
maroon, low-cut Chuck Taylor’s.
The elevator door finally closed.
I exhaled. Not like Marilyn Monroe. Like Stephon…when he’s freaked the fk out.
The doors opened on the 3rd
floor. HimHerSheHe was standing in the courtyard, looking up at me, waving for
me to come down. Normally, I exit the elevator with a slight left, a right and
another left on my way to my apt. Instead, I made a slight left, ANOTHER LEFT
and then a right and I was out of view…I learned that from watching movies!
I entered my apartment and went
straight to the mirror outside of my kitchen. I wanted to see exactly who SheHe
was seeing. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the attraction was
I guess I'll just chalked it up
as a stroke to my ego
I have NEVER a day in my life been a "chick magnet”, but after that
experience, I’m convinced, that I might be a "dk magnet"...
Audition: “Extant” @ Ronna Kress Casting.I used to book these 1 and 2 line roles
all day long.Well, not “all day
long”, but I used to book them.Now, they are so difficult for me and I’m not sure why.Yes, I really want to book more
significant roles than these, but I wanna book these too.It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve
book a TV/Film job and I didn’t even audition for that one.
Anyway, I’d LOVE to book this role.It’s Halle Barry’s pilot, already
on-air for 13 episodes, Steven Spielberg produce and the role is supposed to
I went to a Super Bowl party this afternoon. Didn't want to show up
empty-handed so I brought a 12-pack of Blue Moon...and an A&W cream soda
Several more people showed up and
we ran out of chairs. I helped bring a few more in from the guesthouse. I sat
for a for a few minutes and a few more people arrived. I gave my chair to a
young girl, so I was standing watching the game.
After a while a woman, that had
been sitting, came and stood next to me. A moment later she introduced herself.
We made some small talk and she asked if I had any children.
HER: Have you ever considered
mentoring a child?
ME: Ah, ah, ah...Mentoring? Yeah,
sometimes I read scripts, as an actor, that at-risk students have written in
the area high schools.
HER: How would you feel about
possibly mentoring a 5 year-old 1 or 2 times a month?
ME: Um, a 5 year-old?"
HER: As soon as you walked in
knew I wanted to ask you.
ME: What was it about me? My
HER: No. Just the way you carried
As my head was spinning,
wondering what the heck had just happened she explained that she's a social
worker and one of her clients could use some specific help and she thought I
might fit the bill.
She gave me her card and asked me
to consider it.
A 5 year-old??? That means a car
seat in my car right?
could be my opportunity to make my biggest impact in the world to date...