Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Audition: “Switched at Birth” Deedee Bradley Casting.  This didn’t go to well.  I was ready when I got there, but something happened when I opened my mouth.  That “something” wasn’t good…  I was surprised that Deedee seemed to remember me from way back when I met her in a casting director workshop.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Audition: “Time-Warner Cable” @ Francene Selkirk Casting.  I had fun in the room, but I’m not sure I’m the right guy for the spot…good thing I’m not the one making that decision.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Ironically, today is my father’s birthday.  Ha!  I was trying to figure out if I had the balls to risk calling him to wish him a happy birthday.  Sounds simple enough, but it’s something I hadn’t done since 2003. 

I ended making the call and…I survived.  I didn’t say much, other than “Happy Birthday”…no exclamation point, lol!

Saturday, March 12, 2016

So my younger brother Todd and I drove up to Pennsylvania together for my aunts funeral.  As usual, it was a good drive, just he and I, catching up…like brothers should.

I hadn’t been to the city, Chester, Pennsylvania, that my parents grew up in, in many years and, unfortunately, it hadn’t really changed too much.  It brought back a lot of memories, good memories, but it also brought out a different, adult perspective. 

My stomach was in knots…completely.

I hadn’t really seen or spoken to my father since mid 2003 and I expected that he’d be in attendance.  We parked the car and walked around to the entrance, which was at the back of the building and there was family everywhere. 

Then I saw my father.

I was paralyzed.

I didn’t know what to do, fortunately there were many other family members around that I hadn’t seen in years so I greeted them.

I knew, eventually, I’d have to approach and get in the space of my father…  Well, I guess I didn’t “have to”, but it is what was going to eventually happen.  Trust me, I get no pleasure out of not having a caring father, so I’ll eventually “get in his space” and see what happens.

So I went over to him. Paused, took a deep breath.  I felt like I needed to take a shot of liquor, ya know, something you do to help you get through a situation or a task that you’re dreading. …I’ve never had a shot of liquor, but this might’ve been a good time to start.

There he was and I said:

Me: Hi, how are you?

Him: (Quite warmly) Hey!  Who are you? 

Me: Bryan. (My government name)

Him: Bryan?

(Really, really uncomfortable pause…at least for me.  I doubt it was uncomfortable for him.

Me: (Sigh) I’m your son.

Him: Bryan?  That’s you?

He made small talk, complimented me on my suit.  I just kind of mentally faded away.  I mean, I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t recognize me, but the actual reality of experiencing my own father not recognizing me was…well, it’s tough to take.

Anyway, so I floated around in a bit of a fog until we all went entered the church for my Aunt Barbara’s service.

It was great to see so many extended family members.  It was good to see all of my siblings too.  We hadn’t all been together since my mother’s funeral November 2002. 

After the church ceremony we all traveled to the cemetery.  My father rode in the limousine with his 4 remaining sisters.  After the lowering of Aunt Barbara’s casket, my father rode back to the church with myself and my younger brother Todd.  I sat silently in the back seat of the car and just listened to my father, sitting the front passenger seat, talk.  He was telling a story about something my little sister, Avis, had done.  It was a funny story…because my little sister is hilarious.  I wasn’t ignoring him, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to him, so I just took it all in…and recorded him on my phone.  I figured that one day, in the future I might want to know what his voice sounded like and if I ever have children, I’d probably want them to know as well.

When we arrived back at the church for dinner he asked me how I was doing, I answered, and he exited the vehicle.            

After dinner I took a lot of photos and made sure I got one of him and all of his children together.  It was a nice time.  I didn’t have any direct, one on one, interaction with him, but that was okay because I was still quite nervous about it.

After that, we left the church to visit another cousin on my mother’s side of the family that resides in a nursing home.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

I’m heading home today and will most likely see and maybe even talk to my father for the first since late June 2003.  I’m incredibly unsettled and nervous about this…

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Callback: “Untitled Chris Case Pilot/aka Havoc” @ Josh Einsohn Casting.  Again, I left very happy with how this callback went.  I think I took the direction very well and I made them laugh, plus I had fun.  Honestly, I don’t know when was the last time I had a callback for a pilot.  I call that a success, even if it doesn’t go any further.

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Audition: “Untitled Chris Case Pilot/aka Havoc” @ Josh Einsohn Casting.  This was a pre-read and I was very happy with how things went in the room.  Hopefully I will get a callback!

Audition: “Pure Protein/Sun Naturals” @ Pop Casting.  I was late getting to this one because of the earlier pilot audition and I didn’t have a partner, so I read with part of the casting team.  It went okay…I guess.  Not so sure a callback is in my future for this one.

Audition: “” @ Francine Selkirk Casting.  Same-day call on a busy afternoon, but the schedule worked out perfectly and the audition was pretty good too.

In other news, purchased my ticket to head back east to Virginia and then a road trip up to Pennsylvania for my Aunt Barbara’s funeral.

I also got word that I have a callback tomorrow for the pilot I went in on today.  I’m SO excited about that!

I’m not so excited about missing another audition for tomorrow and ALSO a callback for “Pure Proteins/Sun Naturals”, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Monday, March 07, 2016

Audition: “SAP” @ Cathi Carlton Casting.  This was fun and I think I did pretty well.

Saturday, March 05, 2016

While at work, I received the unfortunate news that my Aunt Barbara passed away back in Chester, Pennsylvania.  I wasn’t particularly close with my Aunt Barbara in recent years, but she was always such a warm, sweet lady.  I spoke to her back in December when she first went into the hospital.  We had a great conversation…and she made it clear to me that, when she passed away, I had “BETTER” be at the funeral. 

At this point I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  Well, I’m pretty sure, at the end of the day, I will be there, but it’s just so complicated.  You see, if I attend the funeral, I will most likely be in the same physical space as my father…assuming he attends.  This makes me so, incredibly nervous.  I haven’t seen or spoken to my father since 2003, one year after my mother passed away. 

Honestly, I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family in a few months, not even my youngest brother that I’m relatively close to.  Wait, that’s not totally true.  I’ve had some not so great conversations with my older brother.  He and I have never really had a good relationship.  I REALLY hope this changes for the better one of these days, but first people need to want it to change and I don’t have any evidence that that is the case…sad face.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Callback: “Ice Breakers” @ Cathi Carlton Casting.  This went great and I’ve work with the director, Craig Gillespie, twice before.  I’m hoping for an avail call tonight or tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Audition: “The Grinder” @ McCarthy/Abellaro Casting. For some reason I had a big problem getting the dialogue out of my mouth.  Rick, the CD kept working with me until I got it right.  Thanks!