Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Audition: “Hart of Dixie” @ Martinez-Nelson/Berger Casting.  This was so much fun!  It was an actual scene!  A few scenes, in fact.  I had a great time in the room.

My Life (just off) of the Sunset Strip...


As I come in from the parking garage, into the lobby of my building, I see a woman entering from the front door into the lobby. I say "hello" as we meet at the elevator.

Not to complicate things, but this was not your "run-of-the-mill" woman. Ya know the type, the ones that have babies, smell like roses, with mesmerizing lips and…produce milk at certain times of the year. This woman was not that at all.

“She” was a very large man, carrying a very small dog - a hot dog dog.

A moment later the elevator arrived and the “4" of us entered. I say “4” because I just wasn’t sure how to categorize…the person. So it was me, the woman who looked like a man, the man who looked like a woman… and the hot dog dog.

The elevator arrived and since the ManWomanWomanMan had their hands full I asked “what floor are you going to?” “They”, SheHeHerHim answered “Wwhone” in their best “Marilyn Monroe”…I understood it as “the 1st floor”. I pressed “1” for them and “3” for me.

The doors closed. It seemed like it took at least 45 seconds for the elevator to move so I attempted some small talk to pass the time.

“How are you this evening?” I asked. SheHeHerHim didn’t really “answer”, SheHeHerHim just kinda exhaled at me…again, kinda like, I would have guessed, Marilyn Monroe would have done it - but way less sexy.

All this was happening really slow.

Finally the elevator door closed and we started moving. SheHeHerHim never looked away from me. I just silently stared at my W-2 in my hand to pass the time. What seemed like 90 minutes later we arrived at the first floor.

The doors opened. SheHe…just stood there. I was frozen, and then finally, I looked up as HeShe, still staring at me, slowly started to exit while doing this weird tongue movement and then winked. I threw back an odd acknowledgement and looked down at my maroon, low-cut Chuck Taylor’s.

The elevator door finally closed. I exhaled. Not like Marilyn Monroe. Like Stephon…when he’s freaked the fk out.

The doors opened on the 3rd floor. HimHerSheHe was standing in the courtyard, looking up at me, waving for me to come down. Normally, I exit the elevator with a slight left, a right and another left on my way to my apt. Instead, I made a slight left, ANOTHER LEFT and then a right and I was out of view…I learned that from watching movies!

I entered my apartment and went straight to the mirror outside of my kitchen. I wanted to see exactly who SheHe was seeing. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the attraction was all about.

I guess I'll just chalked it up as a stroke to my ego

Now, I have NEVER a day in my life been a "chick magnet”, but after that experience, I’m convinced, that I might be a "dk magnet"...

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