Monday, March 13, 2006

Wow, today is my dad's birthday. We haven't spoken in about 3 years; I wonder if that'll ever change. Interesting, I guess I could change it by picking up the phone and calling him. Huh? Something to think about.


LaToya Ward said...

Hey Stephon,
I was just scrolling down reading your blog and I came across the one about it being your father's birthday and yall haven't spoken for years. My dad's birthday was on April 14 and he passed away last year on May 27, 2005. I don't know the circumstances behind why you and your father haven't spoken but life is too short and I would give anything just to speak to my father again and have him hear for the last time evertyhing that I wish I would have said to him while he was still alive. My father's passing still makes me very sad and it wouldn't have felt right to keep reading your blog without putting that out there. If you didn't call your father on his birthday, I hope that your relationship is reconciled with him soon.

Take Care
Toy AKA LaToya Ward

Stephon Fuller said...

Hey LaToya,
Thanks for the note; I really appreciate it. I absolutely, positively understand what you are talking about. Just yesterday I was discussing this very situation with someone.

I do agree that life is short, but I spent many years being civil to my father and trying to include him in my life. Even through all the mess I would always call him on his birthday. Finally, it got to the point where even that stopped. I thought that maybe things would get better between us after my mother passed, but it instead got worse. I am aware that everyday I am taking a risk in that I possibly have already spoken to my father for the last time. I am not proud of the situation; I would much rather he be included in all great times I have with the rest of my family. I love my family dearly; trust me when I say that.

I will say that it wouldn’t totally shock me if one day, out of the blue I called him and just said “what’s up?” It would be something that was out of my control and just an impulse from my heart. I actually just put a photo of him amongst the hundreds of photos on my screensaver – that a first!

Since losing my mom I feel like an orphan and if I lost my father I don’t know if I would completely crumble or just keep moving. I really wish it was different, but I am only one person. Since moving from Virginia 11 years ago my father has never once picked up the phone to call me; he wouldn’t even know my number.

Thanks so much for not sitting on your impulse to say something to me about it; it does make me think about my part in it. Take care.