I’m not wearing shoes.
I’m not wearing socks.
Pants? ...Nope, no pants.
Shirt? Missing in action.
Underwear? Nowhere in sight.
I am naked, sitting on a cold, padded vinyl table covered with a thin layer of sanitary paper. Well, naked except for the assless medical smock I'm wearing and it’s not even tied up in the back.
I know what you're thinking - sexy.
Not so much.
What the heck is going on you might ask…or you might not.
I’m at the Bob Hope Health Center for my annual Comprehensive Physical Examination (CPE). Yup, gotta take advantage of the wonderful SAG medical benefits that I've worked so hard to earn and keep.
Okay, back to being naked...and cold...and a little weirded out that the nurse is going to return to the room to take my vitals. I'm NAKED! Well, except for the untied, assless smock loosely draped over my body. I'm sure it's all in a days work for her, but for me...I'm a little nervous. I mean what if she has X-ray vision? What if she's "checkin' me out?" Actually, if she's checking me out I'll be aight...I wear size 11 Skechers and a Large glove...and you know what they say...
So the young nurse does her thing and after a while the doctor that is going to perform the examination enters the room. We make a little small talk and he starts asking the usual questions while poking, tapping and peeking into different parts of my body. One thing I really wanted to ask about was the constant ringing in my ears.
The whole time I was going though this process my mind was clouded by the fact that I knew the doctor was going to utter a series of words.
The first in the series of words was:
"Okay, roll over on your left side".
That sounds harmless enough, but don't forget about the assless and untied smock I'm sorta wearing.
The second series of words were:
"Pull your knees up to your chest."
As I'm getting myself into the fetal position I'm face-to-face with a stainless-steel table and at that very moment a box of tissues lands on it. I knew what was to happen next and tried to just relax and get it over with.
Behind me the latex-gloved doctor was lubricating his index finger...(I guess that's the offending finger he used). There should be a warrant out for the arrest of that finger. If nothing else to protect ALL men who have to get their...thing checked.
Oh sh*t. "Why? Why? Why?" I asked myself.
You can probably guess what happened next...I was informed that my prostate still works and is good shape. Can't wait until next year to do it again...not so much.
Audition: “Kellogg’s” @ Ross Lacy Casting. Simply- they need to bring my ass to callbacks…at least. Skip all that - justbookabrotha!
One of my consulting clients, the one that signed with my theatrical agency finally got a commercial agent as well and today was her first appointment through them. Ironically, it was at the same place and around the same time as my audition so I waited for her to arrive. We are in touch quite a bit concerning her career and I wanted to wish her good luck in person. I believe she is going to work a lot both commercially and theatrically.
http://www.stephonfuller.com/consultations.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hRX79E75yA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vMXinr1N9w
I’m not wearing socks.
Pants? ...Nope, no pants.
Shirt? Missing in action.
Underwear? Nowhere in sight.
I am naked, sitting on a cold, padded vinyl table covered with a thin layer of sanitary paper. Well, naked except for the assless medical smock I'm wearing and it’s not even tied up in the back.
I know what you're thinking - sexy.
Not so much.
What the heck is going on you might ask…or you might not.
I’m at the Bob Hope Health Center for my annual Comprehensive Physical Examination (CPE). Yup, gotta take advantage of the wonderful SAG medical benefits that I've worked so hard to earn and keep.
Okay, back to being naked...and cold...and a little weirded out that the nurse is going to return to the room to take my vitals. I'm NAKED! Well, except for the untied, assless smock loosely draped over my body. I'm sure it's all in a days work for her, but for me...I'm a little nervous. I mean what if she has X-ray vision? What if she's "checkin' me out?" Actually, if she's checking me out I'll be aight...I wear size 11 Skechers and a Large glove...and you know what they say...
So the young nurse does her thing and after a while the doctor that is going to perform the examination enters the room. We make a little small talk and he starts asking the usual questions while poking, tapping and peeking into different parts of my body. One thing I really wanted to ask about was the constant ringing in my ears.
The whole time I was going though this process my mind was clouded by the fact that I knew the doctor was going to utter a series of words.
The first in the series of words was:
"Okay, roll over on your left side".
That sounds harmless enough, but don't forget about the assless and untied smock I'm sorta wearing.
The second series of words were:
"Pull your knees up to your chest."
As I'm getting myself into the fetal position I'm face-to-face with a stainless-steel table and at that very moment a box of tissues lands on it. I knew what was to happen next and tried to just relax and get it over with.
Behind me the latex-gloved doctor was lubricating his index finger...(I guess that's the offending finger he used). There should be a warrant out for the arrest of that finger. If nothing else to protect ALL men who have to get their...thing checked.
Oh sh*t. "Why? Why? Why?" I asked myself.
You can probably guess what happened next...I was informed that my prostate still works and is good shape. Can't wait until next year to do it again...not so much.
Audition: “Kellogg’s” @ Ross Lacy Casting. Simply- they need to bring my ass to callbacks…at least. Skip all that - justbookabrotha!
One of my consulting clients, the one that signed with my theatrical agency finally got a commercial agent as well and today was her first appointment through them. Ironically, it was at the same place and around the same time as my audition so I waited for her to arrive. We are in touch quite a bit concerning her career and I wanted to wish her good luck in person. I believe she is going to work a lot both commercially and theatrically.
http://www.stephonfuller.com/consultations.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hRX79E75yA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vMXinr1N9w
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