Where am I? What am I doing? THAT is the question. I wish I was sure about things more often, but I’m not, plus it probably wouldn’t be normal to be in control of everything, all the time.
I’m trying to figure out how to get further along in my career…and my life for that matter, lol! I know that I have what it takes to work at a much higher level than I have thus far in my career. I know it and I just HAVE to make it happen. Yes, I’m aware that I’ve done more than many who have attempted to make a go of it in Hollywood, but I believe I can do more than I’ve done…much, much more.
I go to my supplemental job at 9pm. Five nights a week. That sucks…not the job. Actually, within the realm of what the job is it’s pretty good. I have a 401(k) retirement plan, vacation accrual, paid holidays, etc. and it’s a relatively easy place to work. It’s just that I didn’t move 3,000 miles away from home to serve burgers and beer. I often deal with people at their worst. That wears on me. It’s a grind. But I also deal with very creative people; which is sometime fun or…interesting…or dangerous…
The really scary part is that I’ve become used to it. I’ve become used to the fact that I don’t have much of a personal life and an alarming low number of close friends. I’m trying to change that, but it’s hard because, in general, I enjoy working, so it’s easy for me to “punch in” and try to “get something done”. None of that is a reflection on “the job”. The job is what it is…plus, I signed up for it and I stay by my own choice. “The job” has been much more of a positive than a negative in my life. As a matter of fact I have grown to greatly appreciate my employment on The Sunset Strip more than ever.
That said, how long can I keep up the pace? I don’t know. It’s certainly wearing me down, but I still want to perform on the biggest stages in the business so I “keep on keepin’ on”. I think “keep on keepin’ on” is probably the best, smartest thing I can be doing right now…keep believing and stay engaged in the game. The last thing one wants to do is to give up when a game-changing event is right around the corner.