Okay, today was a day of days for me. I was scheduled for "some" of the surgery on my gums. I was reluctant to go through with it because, simply, I can't afford it right now and all of this dental stuff is super expensive.
Fortunately, I have medical insurance, but there's always "your portion" that you have to pay. When I was there last week, I repeatedly explained to the periodontal specialist that I couldn't afford to do it right now. SHE repeatedly explained to me that I could. It was like this weird tug-of-war. Being a dental specialist in Beverly Hills probably made it difficult for her to understand "I'M BROKE!!!" LOL!!!

Anyway, she did a whole lot of talking about how she could make it work with my insurance so I wouldn't have to pay anything out of pocket. I was still reluctant. Ideally, when I get this work done I want to pay cash or mostly cash, but I was willing to listen.

By the time she'd finished talking she had set me up with an appointment AND given me a prescription for pain killers. I walked out of there pissed! I felt like I had been railroaded or something. Nevertheless, I figured, she knew more than me about dealing with insurance companies. Oh yeah, she scheduled the appointment on the same day that I already had a physical scheduled.

All right, so I walk in this morning and I am completely terrified. I don't know, the notion of surgery in my mouth sounds like insanity. She asked if there was anything she could do to make me more comfortable. I told her that my biggest fear was that I would get a bill for this procedure in four months. She assured me that it wouldn't cost me anything. I put on my headphones, she numbed my mouth and I closed my eyes for the next hour.
I survived.

I walked back to my car damn near in tears, in pain, on medication with stitches in my mouth. I took the back roads home, parked in front of my apartment and fell asleep in my car. I got tell you these days I feel like a woman going through her time of the month. Not that I know what that feels like but.........I just need to go home and do some very non-LA things for a couple of weeks.

Continuous: An hour later:

I'm at the Bob Hope Health Center for my Comprehensive Physical Examination (CPE). I have been trying to avoid this for two years. Excuse after excuse after excuse. It's been on my schedule to set up an appointment for over a year, but everytime it comes up I reset it for two weeks later. My mother lost her life to cancer, her mother lost a breast and another member of my family was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. I needed to get looked at just to be sure. I've been totally in denial about it, but 2004 has been dedicated to getting some things straightened out in my personal life. I have to say that I am very, very happy with the progression in that area. I feel I'm laying fertile soil to bloom in '05.

There has to be a script somewhere buried in my life. Or maybe I'm just naive. I don't know. Anyway, here I am in the examination room. I am given a smock to put on. So I'm thinking "am I supposed to be completely naked under here? Or should I keep my boxers on? I don't even know this woman." Oh yeah, I had requested a woman doctor to do the exam because, I figured, if I was going to do this I should really challenge myself. Yeah, some random woman who I've never met seeing me completely naked, that's a challenge for me. I am really a shy guy. Well, I mean, she is a doctor, but still. One night stands are different. I'M KIDDING......sorta....no seriously..........no sorta...........

Moving right along, the doctor comes in and asked me all kinds of questions about my medical history. Some I was able to answer, others I didn't really know.
Like "how's your father's health?"
Ooops, I don't really know, I haven't spoken to him in a year and half.

Or "when was the last time you had a tetanus shot?"
Ahhh, I don't know if I've ever had one.
Okay......well, you'll get one today.
Do I have to? I mean, why do I need one? Will it make me sick? Why, why why.....

I was sweating bullets. So she's doing all the routine stuff, cleaning my ears, checking my eyes. Everything looks great. My heart is fantastic. She keeps telling me how great a shape I'm in. Cool. Then she lays me down, mind you, I'm completely naked under this smock and tripping out. Oh sh*t, what's next? So she pulls the smock back and.........(fill in the blank)...........has me cough. LOL!!!! What!!!! She says "OK great". Before I recover from that, she has me bend my knees and turn over on my left side. Let's not forget I'm shy and naked under this smock.
This is where it got really, really crazy. As I was turning on my side, I saw her slip on a pair of surgical gloves. I heard that familiar "pop" when you snap them on. I didn't think much of it at that moment. When I turned over on my side I was face to face with a stainless steel table that had random medical stuff on it. The doctor came around to the table, picked up a tube of "gel" opened it and put some on one finger. MY WORLD STOPPED COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh--no--she--isn't!! Oh--yes--she--is!!..............................And, my prostate is fine. ^$%*!!