Friday, January 01, 2010

See ya! 2009 is done and over. I didn’t make as much money as I’d hoped. Didn’t book as many jobs as I’d hoped. Didn’t make as many friends as I’d hoped. Didn’t get as much rest as I’d hoped. Didn’t ride my motorcycle as much as I would have liked either, but it was a very productive, highly successful and necessary year.

I’m thankful to have steady employment. Yeah, I feel a little weird saying that out loud because I didn’t move to Los Angeles to ask people if they want salt on their margarita. I moved here to perform and it’s what I should be doing. That said, the night job has been a positive thing for a few reasons for me. It’s tough to say the least…especially working the graveyard shift, but you do what you have to do while you have to do it.

I have a lot of tricks in my backpack to help me get through the nightshifts…mostly, it’s called denial. I deny it. I mask it. I tricked myself into believing it’s something that it’s not until I could find a better coping method. It’s worked way better than I could have imagined. Yes, occasionally my bag of denial runs shallow and it’s just me and the reality of my situation. It is sometimes depressing or even very depressing, but I feel that I’m doing the right thing. I wasn’t always sure of that.

2009 was much better than 2008, but 2010 HAS to propel me forward in all aspects of my life. It has to. I have so many areas of improvement, but I think I’m getting a handle on who I am, what my strengths are and what it is I have to offer. When I’m good I’m really good and when I’m not it seems like such a blasé thing. 2010 and beyond here I come!

I can’t think of a better way to start off 2010 than to go dirt bike riding. It wasn’t the same as how we used to go in years past, but I got to ride nonetheless. I SO look forward to the day when I can go riding on a regular basis and truly afford it. It’s an expensive, dangerous sport, but one day I’m gonna have my ducks in a row and be able to have a bike on the West coast. Until then I have to be happy with my 1 or 2 days a year in the dirt.

http://www.stephonfuller.com

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