Monday, June 12, 2006

I think I'm going through a second puberty. Not that I really remember the first one. Why do I think this you might ask? Well, my voice seems to be changing. I sound as if I'm not feeling well, but I feel great.

This has been going on for about the last 5 weeks. So, I've decided to embrace my new sound instead of fighting it. Huh? I hope my face I doesn't start breaking out more than usual.

There is another reason I think I'm growing up. hmmm......how do I explain this? Well it went a little like this.

INT. - THE GYM/LOCKER ROOM - MORNING

Men of all ages, ethnicities and physical conditions mill around in various stages of dress and undress. As the camera pushes through the levels of testosterone, it settles on a pair of flip-flops and slowly rises to the small calves of young black male; this is Stephon.

As the camera continues to rise; it the frame widens and we see that this muth*fu** is butt naked. WHAT!? Yeah, he’s wearing nothing but flip-flops, a silver chain, wire-rimmed glasses and quite the pensive look on his face. Is he trying to scare folks? Geez!

Another angle catches Stephon's right hand by his side; camera follows as the hand moves up near his face and a number "100" comes into view. Camera widens to reveal this skinny ass, butt naked black man is standing on a scale.

CUT TO:

A thumb and index finger sliding a weight to the right....35, 36, 37, 38....39...........40 What!!!

Stephon: Oh Sh*t! I gained a pound!

Pregnant looking man with plenty of pounds to spare walks by and responds.

Man: I got plenty; you want some of this?

Stephon: Nah, I'm good. Thanks. (to self) Cool, I’m back to 140!

So there you have it; I gained a pound. Imagine that. I can't believe that my youngest brother weighs 15 more pounds than me! Maybe one day I’ll get back to my high school graduation weight of around 145-150…..maybe not. Maybe I should shut up and be happy that I can eat whatever I want…whenever I want and however much of it I want. Yeah, I’ll take that.

Oh yeah, my face is totally breaking out.

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