Wow…2007. I’m not sorry to see it end. This has, without question, been one of the most challenging years of my life. Challenge, after challenge, after challenge and so on…and it continues. You have no idea how difficult it’s been for me – trust me. But I have to say “I ain’t no punk mofo! I’m facing it head-on!
A couple of weeks ago a buddy shared with me that he felt I act as though I rarely work in the business. I was a little surprised by him saying that, but after a while I saw where he was coming from. I mean its all relative really to what you expect and from day one I expected to work and make a living as a professional in this business.
I’ve seen hundreds of actor resumes over the last couple of months and I’ve come to the conclusion that he may be right…maybe I am a little hard on myself. I’m definitely a “working actor” with a track record that goes back more than 10 years. It could be because I don’t compare my journey to others. I don’t know. Maybe I need to give myself a break…maybe.
Even one of my agents told me that she was happy with my progress in ‘07. I was actually surprised to hear that…not sure why. I think the smart thing is to trust them on this since they’ve seen a lot more than I have in a global sense as far as actors’ careers go. Yeah, I’ll trust them, but I won’t be any less hungry to move forward.
Other than my younger brothers; nobody really knows what I’ve been experiencing – maybe one other person. The reason for that is that my outlook on things, for some reason, is constantly hard to understand. Of course it doesn’t seem hard to follow to me, but I think I confuse people. I have a way of over complicated things. More often than not others will give you advice or opinions from “their point of view” and not truly try to walk in your shoes to see where you are coming from. This isn’t malicious; it’s very natural that we do it. Ironically, it’s one of the major things that has enabled me to get ahead in the business - understanding why others do the things they do – actually I’m fascinated with it.
Anyway, the magic with my brothers is that they’re very patient with me and give me the time I need to explain my point of view. They know from experience that if they hear me out and truly absorb the finer points of whatever it is I’m saying it’ll make sense. They may not agree, but it’s worthy of hearing nonetheless.
At times, during the year, it felt that it would have been easier to just give in; especially because there are so many other things I feel I can do well. I could do “the 9-5 thing” and excel at it – I wouldn’t be an average employee. Even though there is much more I plan to do in the entertainment business I could quit today and totally feel like a success.
It’s been such a mind-twisting experience and I hope I don’t have to go through it again anytime soon. The crazy thing is that I’ve smiled through most of it. I’m not sure why. I think because deep-down I know it’s all for a reason – a good reason; a great reason. My “logically-zen” mind has guided me up to this point and it will get me through to the other side onto new challenges I’m sure.
Further weird is that through all of the stuff I’ve been experiencing I’m settled with the notion of that I’ll continue to be doing this as a profession for many years to come. That is a good thing for my psyche because I haven’t always felt that – it gives me a foundation.
My heart wants to be in a much more suburban setting, but I’ll have to make Los Angeles work for me. Other than work opportunities there is really no benefit for me to be in “the big city”. I’ve been in LA and/or New York for the last 13 years; “been there, done that”. I don’t need to be on the cutting edge of anything; it’s too exhausting and I’ve never been good at “keeping up with the Jones”. I’ve stopped listening to the radio in my car and have cut down on television news. I’ve been an AM talk radio junkie since high school so that’s a huge step for me. I used to sleep with my radio under my pillow and I’d absorb information in my sleep – at 16-17 years old! I’ve found some podcasts that quench my thirst for learning and hearing interesting things without the sensational “rah-rah” of news as a product. I’m even amazed at how much time I’ve spent in my car in complete silence. It has given me time to think about what has happened and also what needs to happen.
I’m in a great place in my career and I recognize that, but there is more to life than a commercial booking or an episodic airing. I don’t dream of being on the red carpet with people screaming my name; frankly that makes me really nervous. I think in ’08 I wanna take that ceramics class, that typing class, maybe English or a writing class – a dance class might be fun too. Make no mistake I love acting and I get a magical feel every time I get on-set and plan to be on a many different sets next year.
Speaking of writing; I wonder how long I’ll continue to write this blog. For some reason it crosses my mind from time to time. I’m not sure why; I’m just curious as to what would be the circumstances of why I would stop writing. It’s definitely something I enjoy doing; I just wish I wrote better and typed faster. I also wish I was writing back when I lived in New York. Often times I feel like I’m writing it for my kids to read one day; decades down the line. I would have LOVED to have had something like this to read about my father during a certain period in his life. Maybe I’d understand him better and have some sort of relationship with him.
I hope this doesn’t sound like 2007 has been a terrible year – it hasn’t. I’ve just had enough of “some” what it has been – whatever that is. I’m only human and I can only take so much at one time. One thing that I know it’s been is “necessary”. Yes. Everything that has happened has been necessary and I believe that with all of my heart. It has forced me to think deeper and harder when I thought I couldn’t think deeper or harder. It has made me become my own think tank to move forward and I’m thrilled with how things are developing. It’s been a transitional year.
The funny thing is that I was feeling really fantastic before booking the “WaMu” job. I’m still surprised by the set of circumstances in which it all came about and at the same time I’m not surprised in the least. I mean, it’s not any different than going to Japan for a job from a drop-off or working with multi-time Oscar winners Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks also from a drop-off. Or being hired for a job in Spain – no callback, directly off tape. It’s not any different than having my first audition less than 24 hours after arriving in LA or getting both of my agents from a mailing and still being happily represented by them after nearly 10 years. It’s not any different than being hired by Oscar winning director Steven Soderbergh for “Oceans’ Twelve” and “Ocean’s Thirteen” – and not getting to shoot either one of them. How many people can say that? I own these stories and many more and I’m proud of each and every one of them.
The consulting has been quite rewarding too and I’ve seen some clients get agents and jobs and just generally move forward; but I wish everyone would get immediate results because I’ve met so many talented, dedicated performers that just wanna get a chance to work. It’s been especially thrilling to watch “The Perfect Storm” client move forward in her career. After booking the pilot I see many more great things in the very near future for her.
Without question, one of the most thrilling accomplishments for me this year is that I earned my 10th SAG pension credit – which means I am a vested member of the Screen Actor’s Guild and eligible for a pension anytime after the age of 55. I earned 10 pension credits in just 11 years; it was definitely a goal of mine from first joining SAG. I earned medical coverage after my first year in SAG and have maintained it continuously.
I’ve always paid attention to the inner workings of SAG because, as a performer, it can be more difficult to look out for your long-term future. I don’t pretend to understand all of the politics and stuff, but attending the meetings and reading the literature over the years has really helped. No, SAG isn’t perfect and it especially irritates me that SAG leases office space and doesn’t own its own building after 75 years – don’t get me started. At any rate, SAG has been good to me and after this year I have a new found appreciation and respect for them.
So with all that I’ve written; I say bring ’08 on. I’m ready!
A couple of weeks ago a buddy shared with me that he felt I act as though I rarely work in the business. I was a little surprised by him saying that, but after a while I saw where he was coming from. I mean its all relative really to what you expect and from day one I expected to work and make a living as a professional in this business.
I’ve seen hundreds of actor resumes over the last couple of months and I’ve come to the conclusion that he may be right…maybe I am a little hard on myself. I’m definitely a “working actor” with a track record that goes back more than 10 years. It could be because I don’t compare my journey to others. I don’t know. Maybe I need to give myself a break…maybe.
Even one of my agents told me that she was happy with my progress in ‘07. I was actually surprised to hear that…not sure why. I think the smart thing is to trust them on this since they’ve seen a lot more than I have in a global sense as far as actors’ careers go. Yeah, I’ll trust them, but I won’t be any less hungry to move forward.
Other than my younger brothers; nobody really knows what I’ve been experiencing – maybe one other person. The reason for that is that my outlook on things, for some reason, is constantly hard to understand. Of course it doesn’t seem hard to follow to me, but I think I confuse people. I have a way of over complicated things. More often than not others will give you advice or opinions from “their point of view” and not truly try to walk in your shoes to see where you are coming from. This isn’t malicious; it’s very natural that we do it. Ironically, it’s one of the major things that has enabled me to get ahead in the business - understanding why others do the things they do – actually I’m fascinated with it.
Anyway, the magic with my brothers is that they’re very patient with me and give me the time I need to explain my point of view. They know from experience that if they hear me out and truly absorb the finer points of whatever it is I’m saying it’ll make sense. They may not agree, but it’s worthy of hearing nonetheless.
At times, during the year, it felt that it would have been easier to just give in; especially because there are so many other things I feel I can do well. I could do “the 9-5 thing” and excel at it – I wouldn’t be an average employee. Even though there is much more I plan to do in the entertainment business I could quit today and totally feel like a success.
It’s been such a mind-twisting experience and I hope I don’t have to go through it again anytime soon. The crazy thing is that I’ve smiled through most of it. I’m not sure why. I think because deep-down I know it’s all for a reason – a good reason; a great reason. My “logically-zen” mind has guided me up to this point and it will get me through to the other side onto new challenges I’m sure.
Further weird is that through all of the stuff I’ve been experiencing I’m settled with the notion of that I’ll continue to be doing this as a profession for many years to come. That is a good thing for my psyche because I haven’t always felt that – it gives me a foundation.
My heart wants to be in a much more suburban setting, but I’ll have to make Los Angeles work for me. Other than work opportunities there is really no benefit for me to be in “the big city”. I’ve been in LA and/or New York for the last 13 years; “been there, done that”. I don’t need to be on the cutting edge of anything; it’s too exhausting and I’ve never been good at “keeping up with the Jones”. I’ve stopped listening to the radio in my car and have cut down on television news. I’ve been an AM talk radio junkie since high school so that’s a huge step for me. I used to sleep with my radio under my pillow and I’d absorb information in my sleep – at 16-17 years old! I’ve found some podcasts that quench my thirst for learning and hearing interesting things without the sensational “rah-rah” of news as a product. I’m even amazed at how much time I’ve spent in my car in complete silence. It has given me time to think about what has happened and also what needs to happen.
I’m in a great place in my career and I recognize that, but there is more to life than a commercial booking or an episodic airing. I don’t dream of being on the red carpet with people screaming my name; frankly that makes me really nervous. I think in ’08 I wanna take that ceramics class, that typing class, maybe English or a writing class – a dance class might be fun too. Make no mistake I love acting and I get a magical feel every time I get on-set and plan to be on a many different sets next year.
Speaking of writing; I wonder how long I’ll continue to write this blog. For some reason it crosses my mind from time to time. I’m not sure why; I’m just curious as to what would be the circumstances of why I would stop writing. It’s definitely something I enjoy doing; I just wish I wrote better and typed faster. I also wish I was writing back when I lived in New York. Often times I feel like I’m writing it for my kids to read one day; decades down the line. I would have LOVED to have had something like this to read about my father during a certain period in his life. Maybe I’d understand him better and have some sort of relationship with him.
I hope this doesn’t sound like 2007 has been a terrible year – it hasn’t. I’ve just had enough of “some” what it has been – whatever that is. I’m only human and I can only take so much at one time. One thing that I know it’s been is “necessary”. Yes. Everything that has happened has been necessary and I believe that with all of my heart. It has forced me to think deeper and harder when I thought I couldn’t think deeper or harder. It has made me become my own think tank to move forward and I’m thrilled with how things are developing. It’s been a transitional year.
The funny thing is that I was feeling really fantastic before booking the “WaMu” job. I’m still surprised by the set of circumstances in which it all came about and at the same time I’m not surprised in the least. I mean, it’s not any different than going to Japan for a job from a drop-off or working with multi-time Oscar winners Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks also from a drop-off. Or being hired for a job in Spain – no callback, directly off tape. It’s not any different than having my first audition less than 24 hours after arriving in LA or getting both of my agents from a mailing and still being happily represented by them after nearly 10 years. It’s not any different than being hired by Oscar winning director Steven Soderbergh for “Oceans’ Twelve” and “Ocean’s Thirteen” – and not getting to shoot either one of them. How many people can say that? I own these stories and many more and I’m proud of each and every one of them.
The consulting has been quite rewarding too and I’ve seen some clients get agents and jobs and just generally move forward; but I wish everyone would get immediate results because I’ve met so many talented, dedicated performers that just wanna get a chance to work. It’s been especially thrilling to watch “The Perfect Storm” client move forward in her career. After booking the pilot I see many more great things in the very near future for her.
Without question, one of the most thrilling accomplishments for me this year is that I earned my 10th SAG pension credit – which means I am a vested member of the Screen Actor’s Guild and eligible for a pension anytime after the age of 55. I earned 10 pension credits in just 11 years; it was definitely a goal of mine from first joining SAG. I earned medical coverage after my first year in SAG and have maintained it continuously.
I’ve always paid attention to the inner workings of SAG because, as a performer, it can be more difficult to look out for your long-term future. I don’t pretend to understand all of the politics and stuff, but attending the meetings and reading the literature over the years has really helped. No, SAG isn’t perfect and it especially irritates me that SAG leases office space and doesn’t own its own building after 75 years – don’t get me started. At any rate, SAG has been good to me and after this year I have a new found appreciation and respect for them.
So with all that I’ve written; I say bring ’08 on. I’m ready!
http://www.stephonfuller.com/consultations.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hRX79E75yA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vMXinr1N9w
2 comments:
Stephon, your blog is a continual inspiration to me and reminds me of all the things to love (and be bemused by) in this odd business. Thanks for doing it, and blessings on you in 2008!
Thank you Cole and blessings to you too!
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