This writing that I do and the effects of it never ceases to amaze me. Even I’d think that I would be used to it by now, but honestly I get extremely nervous when someone says something to me in public about it. I have no idea why. I think at the end of the day it comes down to me not being too comfortable in the spotlight.
Don’t get me wrong, I can handle myself with no problem, but I kinda like being in the shadows and watching others. I have little desire to “make it” on any type of mega-crazy level. The attractive part of that for me would be to be able to fly home to see my niece play field hockey and my nephew play baseball, have dirt bikes to ride, learn to play tennis, start racing BMX bikes again, do ceramics and woodworking, learn about investing, work on cars, learn to cook, etc.
Make no mistake; I really want to work more too – a lot more. Being on-set and on- location is an incredible feeling. Landing in another country after a long flight with a different native language and seeing the driver picking you up holding a sign that says “Fuller” is pretty incredible. Getting per-diem in another country’s currency is also pretty incredible.
Anyway, what the heck am I talking about? Who knows. I was at a workshop tonight, sitting in the back row, against the wall – a comfortable spot for me. It’s a safe place where I just kinda watch what goes on – I am fascinated by people in general and just love to watch what they do and why.
So I’m sitting there, sorta hiding, hat pulled low and the one of the guest is talking about how it’s great to meet new actors. Shortly after that he looks straight at me and says “I’ve seen your website”. I was frozen and just muttered something; he then said “You have a website right?” I answered, “uh…yeah…yeah I do”. He told the room that when he was an intern at a talent agency he read my entire Long Ass Bio over a 3-day period. What? Are you kidding me?
Afterwards, we spoke one on one and he told me the he’s recommended my writings to others to read. Who would’ve thought – not my English teachers in grade school that’s for sure.
Also this week I received a particular e-mail that nearly brought me to tears. It just hit me at the right time. I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately to get a few really important things accomplished and it gets to be overwhelming at times. Nothing bad, in fact, they are all very good things. It just involves a bit of concentration, patience and research. Nothing I can’t handle. After having a tough couple of days it was the right medicine for me – thanks again Debbie.
Supposedly, I’m still on-avail for the “Sprint” print ad, but to be honest, I’ve mentally released myself – NEXT!!!
http://www.stephonfuller.com/consultations.html